Helpers

It’s Christmas time, a time for presents, fun, family.  Kind of sad that some idiot in Connecticut ruined it temporarily for friends and family of Sandy Hook as well as the rest of the Nation.  We watched CBS Sunday Morning today and there were nice tributes of love and Christmas Spirit shown.  Heck, Charles Osgood even played the piano and sang the “I’ll be home for Christmas” song.  He’s very good at that, something I hadn’t realized in all the years I’ve watched/listened to him.  I came away with a happy/sad feeling after the show.  Then, I stumbled upon a “Mr. Rogers” quote today and pasted it on Facebook.  Advice to parents about what to say to your kids when a “Sandy Hook” happens.  Here’s the quote:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in this world.” — Mister Rogers.

My heart goes out to the family, friends and especially the responders of the tragedy.  Lots of talk of gun control, laws to be passed, things to be done.  For me, I just want to be a helper.  For those of you who have experienced sadness, a loss this year, that first Christmas can be rough.  For my friend, John and others like him, I wish for you the strength to get through what should be a joyous time and let you know if you need to talk, I’ll be your helper……..

             Kelly

Copierguy Benefits

As a Copierguy, I have access to normal offices, buildings and regular places.  I also have access to really cool places like Vandenburg AFB where America's West Coast Missiles are launched (see my blog on this at:   http://crazykellyofcowlifornia.blogspot.com/2010/09/its-not-rocket-scienceno-waitit-is.html ), Port Hueneme Naval Seabee Base and one of my favorites, Point Mugu Naval Weapons Base.  This Blog is about the Point Mugu Base.

Since 9/11, access to all the bases is extremely difficult.  In the beginning, if I had to get on base, the vendor would pre-authorize me and, after a visit to the off-base visitor center for credentials, I had access for a day.  As the years went by, I had to get all sorts of paperwork and jump through hoops for a 6 month pass.  Then, the hammer came down.  My company had to shell out almost $500 to get me a 4 year pass.  So many forms, fingerprint and background check with the FBI, I-9 form from work, license, registration, proof of insurance, etc.  But, now I just drive up, they scan my badge and I'm in.  Except for Vandenburg - it's still a nightmare to get in there (Luckily, I rarely go there as other techs cover that one).  Once I'm on base, I pretty much have to follow the rules I 'swore' to get the badge.  I always have a camera with me and it's very tempting to photograph the 'cool' stuff but I like my job, hate jail and keep the camera in the glovebox.  I am allowed to take pics at some places so I've included them here.

Point Mugu is a Naval Weapons development and test base.  They've come up with some really neat things.  There's always F/A-18's and Hawkeye Radar planes doing neat things there.  I am allowed to say that the places I visit for networking and repair work are private contractors (ditto for Vandenburg and Port Hueneme).  At Point Mugu, the vendors I visit design and build 'targets' for the Navy fliers.  You've all seen the movie "Top Gun" where they try and shoot down each other with 'electronic-only' weapons but Point Mugu is a Live-Fire base. The 'targets' are real, jet powered and remote controlled.  They can be small or very large.  I've walked past them being assembled many times.  That's about all I can say.  As I walk down the halls, there are wall mounted photos of the 'targets' flying and being destroyed.  What they are being destroyed with is what the Naval Weapons base designs (or assists with the design) and tests.  This base has been around for a long time and has come up with all sorts of missiles.  AAMRAN, HARM, SIDEWINDER and the list goes on.  Whenever there is a 'training' exercise, the F-18's are up, live-armed and accompanied by (actually guided by) the airborne radar control Hawkeye aircraft.  Sometimes, the Navy does the 'Top Gun' kind of stuff and they hire a private contractor to be the 'bad guys', just like in the 'Top Gun' movie.  The private contractor hires former Navy/Air Force pilots, bring their own aircraft and the Good Guys and the Bad guys engage in the 'Top Gun' stuff.  Electronic, not live ammo stuff.  Very cool.  I've seen all the aircraft on the ground and taking off/landing at Pt. Mugu.  Guy stuff supreme.  My favorite are the Hawkeye Radar control planes.  They are the forward controllers of any battle in the air-any 'air' ops mission.  Prop driven and a big radar dome on top.  The wings fold up for aircraft carrier storage.  Here's a pic of a retired one on the base.

This particular plane epitomizes the name, "Hawkeye".  Here's another pic from around the side:

I just love the tail painting.  Here's a close up:

As I said, this base develops or assists with the development of missiles.  The various slogans, emblems and squadron names enforce that.  How's this for cool:

 This so reminds me of "Fluffy", Hagrid's dragon from the Harry Potter movies.  Here's some other pics from just off base.  The first is a retired F-18, the last is what I call, Missile Row.  This is just a small portion of the weapons developed, improved or tested here.  Yes, that's a Polaris submarine launched missile on the right.  This place does it all.  A really cool place to visit.......if you got one of those really expensive badges.  Here's the pics:

The last pic is of an older missle, a Regulus II missile.  When I was 12 or 13, I built a plastic model of it.  Yea, lots of glue all over the place, but I loved it.  This pic holds a special place in my heart because of that.

Painmaster 2000

Several people have ask about my knee operation and recovery so I thought I'd share the answers with all of you.

First, daughter Shelley asked, "If you do get a replacement knee, will it make that cool Bionic Man sound when you leap buildings with it??"  After I stopped laughing, I thought about it and really don't have a good medical answer for that.  I do remember the Six Million Dollar Man TV show and if I ever did get a knee replacement, I would love to have that sound when I jump.  The sound I do get now while doing the recumbent bike thing is a minor clunking or clicking deep inside my knee.  It's a really lame sound Hollywood would never be interested in for a remake of the series.  Who knows, maybe Lee Majors' knee sounds like that now as he is seven years older than me.

My firend Anna in Cowlumbus commented,  "Now you are a 'Stationary'...Biker-Bitch!".  I thought that was a little demeaning and unflattering.  I've included some pictures below as I do my daily exercises to prove my point.  By the way, Although it's original name is Schwinn Recumbent Bicycle 1700, I have renamed it the Painmaster 2000.  Hope you enjoy the pics and remember, click on the pics to view the larger size. Sorry about the scar and tattoo.

Copier Knee, Part II

In the past week after my surgery, I've been trying to exercise the way Dr. Music requested.  His number one exercise for my knee is a stationary bike, second, walking.  The day after surgery, Charlene, who is always the greatest Nurse (for the worst patient-me), searched Craig's List and found a wonderful bike for a hundred bucks, mint condition.  We picked it up the next day and I have been doing 2-3 miles a day ever since.  My knee is still somewhat swollen but lessens by the day.  All the muscles on my calf and thigh are very sore - I mean very sore.  Back of my knee (is that the 'nape of my knee'?) is black and blue and I don't know why.  Bending hurts.  Just plain hurts.  I have to force myself to move my right leg correctly when I walk.  The pain just takes over and I walk funny, stiff legged if I don't think about it.  Strange how something like walking can be forgotten so quickly in response to pain.  As the days go by, I can bend it a little more, tolerate a little more pain and constantly force myself to think about how my leg is supposed to work when I walk.  If I give in to the pain, I walk funny, stiff-legged, lean funny and in trying to favor my right leg, screw up my back.  My back?  Yea, you remember in 2009 when I started this blog - it was because I was bored recovering from back surgery.  Yea, that back.  So, my walking is half reflex, half thought-controlled if I don't want a sore knee and back.  When I realize I'm walking with a stiff right leg, I think how my left leg takes a step and apply that motion to my right leg.  Kind of a drag.  I just can't go from here to there without pausing, remember to 'walk' the right leg and slowly get there.  I haven't learned how to do it faster than 'slow' but I keep trying.

Today, 8 days after surgery, I went to see Dr. Music.  His nurse took out my stitches - 4 on one side of my knee, 1 on the other.  Dr. Music came in shortly thereafter, shook my hand and examined my knee.  He made me bend and extend and was pleased with my progress.  I told him that Charlene had gotten a recumbent stationary bike and was doing 2-3 miles a day and he was happy about that.  He had warned me that one of the incisions would be bigger than the other but he kept having to make one bigger as he tried to get the giant boulder out (the huge one in the x-ray, previous blog post).  He kind of laughed and did a replay of the operation with him struggling to get it out of the too small opening.  A funny scene. He told me that the soreness of my thigh and calf is due to the fact that during the operation, they 'pressurize' the joint with water, swelling it up and stretching everything.  It will slowly fade. Then, he got serious.  Uh-oh.....

He told me that my knee was pretty bad and that if I treated it kindly, it would last another 6-10 years before requiring a knee-replacement operation.  Then he ask, "Do you want that operation"? to which I replied, "NO!".  "Do you want to know how to keep your knee?", he ask.  "Well, Yeah", I said.

"Treat it gently.  No jogging.  No jumping.  No sudden impacts to the joint.  Low impact exercise - one hour a day - for the rest of your life. The stationary bike is an excellent low impact exercise and you need to use it every day.  The gentle motion will help 'polish' the bone surfaces and keep them smooth and arthritic buildup to a minimum.""

And with that, he shook my hand and left.  Bummer.  I thought I was superman and this operation would have me up and running around like the hyper-active moron I've been for decades.  But, Noooooo!  I have to slow down and act my age, or should I say 'act my body condition'.  Gross!  Old age just plain Sucks!

Copier Knee

My first day of a 4 week vacation started out kind of weird: I was drugged, beaten, stabbed, sawed and bandaged.

Yea, that about says it all.  I suffer from "Copier Knee".  If you work on copiers long enough, your knees will start screwing up.  After decades of "up and down, crawling around on my knees, sitting on the floor like an Indian (American, not India), the knees just take a beating.

I've had problems with my right knee for almost 20 years now and it slowly gets worse:  Locks up, clicks, sends pain signals everywhere.  Last November, Charlene and I were doing some shopping, walking across a parking lot when, out of the blue, my right knee decided that it was time to let me know that it probably needs looked at by someone other than the Cat.  As the weeks went on, the pain increased to the point of me taking Charlene's advice and scheduling a visit with Dr. Music.  He's an Orthopedic Surgeon and since Charlene sees his patients on her floor, she knew him and his excellent reputation as a knee fixer.  One of my customers also gave him a great recommendation. I made the appointment, got some x-rays and paid him a visit (actually, my insurance company paid him for the visit).

You oldsters remember Marcus Welby, M.D. on TV of yester-year.  Dr. Music is one of those kind of doctors:  Upbeat, caring, energetic, outgoing, great sense of humor, extremely positive.  He's the kind of doctor you all would want.  After the first office visit, I just loved this guy!  I mean, if he accidentally cut off my leg, I would still love him - he's just that great!

During my office visit with him, I had brought a paper from the x-ray people that explained 3 things wrong with my right knee, all in medical-ese that I didn't understand.  He came in, sat down right beside me and took the paper and explained all three items:
1.  You've got a lot of fluid in your joint
2.  You've got a lot of arthritis in you knee
3.  You've got a lot of 'gravel' in your knee joint.

Then he pulled up the digital x-rays and showed me the what, why and whatever was causing me pain.  I've attached the really cool one here that shows a giant rock in the knee joint.  Other x-rays showed more 'gravel' but not as dramatic as this x-ray:

Years of arthritis, bone spurs, calcium deposits growing, breaking off had taken it's toll.  Time to operate.  He said that most surgeons would tell me that I'm due for a knee replacement surgery but, (thank God) he didn't think it was that bad yet.  He pulled out some Arthroscopic surgery tools and showed how the operation would go.  45 minutes to an hour in same-day surgery, home by noon.  He said there would be two small incisions for the tools to be inserted in the joint and do the deed.  He laughed and said one of the slits would have to be bigger than normal to get the big rock out (the one in the x ray above).  If I was an office worker, sitting all day, I could go back to work in a week.  Copierguy?  No way - you're going to be off for a month with the abuse you give your knees.  He also said I should have come see him sooner - like, 15 years sooner.  So, I cleared everything with work and scheduled the surgery for yesterday morning.  Charlene took me there and we arrived a 6 a.m., surgery at 7:30.  Of course, in the free time before they put me under, I played with things and basically annoyed everyone.  Only ask for coffee once, maybe twice.

 

 Dr. Music showed up at 7 a.m. wearing sneakers, blue jeans, polo shirt.  My kind of guy!  The operation went very well and as I was coming out of the anesthesia fog, he handed me a couple of 8 x 10 glossy photo montages of images taken thru his instruments during the operation.  I'd include more but I have no clue what is going on in most of them..... except this one - the one with the little tiny saw:

 Yep, a little tiny saw cutting away all the bad stuff (the suction tool is not shown) in the middle of my knee joint.  Pretty cool geek shot, eh?  I was home by noon, complete with crutches.  Supposed to mostly stay off it for a few days, bandage off on Wednesday, appointment for stitch removal and progress report next Tuesday.  After tomorrow, I start physical therapy which consists of either a stationary bicycle or just plain walking.  Lots of walking.  Major lots of walking.  I can't wait for that......  After I got home yesterday, my entire knee was numb, couldn't feel a thing so I was 'crutching around the house for hours.  Even Charlene told someone on the phone that on a normal day, I'd sit at the computer for hours but today he can't sit still, he's all over the house.  Yea, that about summed it up until the knee became 'un-numb' last evening.  After that, I was on the couch, leg propped up, a took a pain pill (some really good ones, courtesy Dr. Music).  Going to bed late last night was a little tougher than normal as the pain pills just took the 'edge' off the pain but still made me very aware that I wasn't going to fall asleep soon.  After an hour, exhaustion won and I was out until 5 a.m. today.  So much for sleeping in.......

I started out with crutches this morning for a half-an-hour and realized that crutches are mostly dangerous, at least for me so I set them aside and forced myself into careful baby steps, straight-ahead walking with no lateral twisting.  It's working pretty good for now and my pain level is low so I'll probably work with it, increasing speed and stride as the days go by.  For a hyper-active moron, it's maddeningly slow but I'll keep up with it per Dr. Music's orders.

By the way, my surgeon's name is really Dr. Mazurek, not Dr. Music.  I'm a numbers oriented guy and can't remember names worth a damned.  Initially, I could remember 'Music' so that's what I call him.  His name is really pronounced like the State 'Missouri' with a 'K' on the end.  Aw, so much easier to say 'Dr. Music'. 

Now, I'm off to repair the roof, work on the car's transmission, mow the grass.......NOT!

Book signing strikes again!

I usually order books for Charlene through Amazon.com before they are released and receive them a day or two before they are officially released.  Works out well.  Several months ago, I ordered Robert Crais's unreleased new book, "Taken".  About three weeks ago, I noticed that he would be at several signings so I schemed to take Charlene on a mystery date, not telling her a word.  Not even the boys knew.  Last night, after she changed clothes about 50 times in her attempts to anticipate what clothes this mystery date might entail, we left for the freeway.  The entire afternoon, she was guessing where/what it might be, to no avail.  We jumped on the freeway headed towards LA and she starts lessening her guesses as we were headed for unfamiliar territory.  We arrived in Thousand Oaks, about 20 miles away at a little place called "Mysteries to Die For".  Cute little bookstore that sells, you guessed it, mystery books.  As I pulled the keys out of our car, I handed her an unopened package that contained "Taken" for the signing.  She saw the book, saw the crowd in front and knew what it was.  Remember you can click on the photo to see a larger version, then return here.

This was a much smaller place than last years Robert Crais book signing in Santa Monica and there was no room to sit so we were off in a corner at the beginning.  Just before he came out, they ask for "Volunteers" to sit on the floor right beside him.  Yep, our hands went up and Charlene and I sat at his feet.  And funny feet they were:

He explained his own personal methods on how he writes.  You know, the dedication of a set number of regular hours per day, how he outlines a story before he writes it, all the little tricks he uses.  It was very interesting.  He also explained that there is a lead time, like 4-6 months after you hand it to the publisher before it hits the shelves in stores.  That time is used for corrections, publishing, PR work, setting up signing tours across the country, etc.  He wasn't happy with his book while writing it and it took many more months to finish than he planned.  The manuscript was turned in December 1st and was published around January first.  Hilarious to hear how his publisher was constantly 'bugging' him in the end.  Afterwards, he did his "question and answer" period which also was interesting.  Then, the book signing began.  This guy is a very "people-oriented" author, very approachable, very likeable and very accommodating.  These are the rest of the pictures and some were taken without flash during his presentation so they're not perfect:

 

Here's Charlene getting her book signed:

And, in a stroke of genius, Charlene make the excellent choice of Silver Flip-Flops (?) and compared foot ware with Robert Crais.  He liked my 'Cow' socks, too.

Late Night Shows

I noticed in the paper today that "Late Night with David Letterman" first aired on this day in 1982.  Wow!  Never thought of it before.  Didn't Johnny Carson retire after 30 years?  And Dave is still going strong.  I've always liked Letterman.  Not a lot of jokes, just, uh, more intelligent jokes.  Leno's monologue runs for 10-15 minutes of non-stop jokes and it pushes me back - - too many jokes.  As far as any of the Late Night shows, my taste is still evolving.  Always loved Johnny Carson, always will.  After a hard day, he was the King who tucked us in at night.  Sometimes I watched Letterman.  He was new.  Raw and Rookie rolled into one.  Some years back, Charlene, Nic, Trav and I went to a Wayne Brady Show in Hollywood.  He was funny but, not a keeper.  Then I discovered "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson".  This guy was funny.  His monologue is made up on-the -fly.  There's some 'thoughts' on the teleprompter but that's all he needs.  Very entertaining.  Charlene and I went to a 'Christmas' show of his and the sole guest was Regis.  They even sang carols for the audience.  Love Regis - too bad he never did a late night show as I was never home in the mornings to watch his "Live with Regis and (insert name here)" show.  Also used to watch Conan.  I liked his show, sorry he got bumped. 

After we moved East (no, not Ohio or Pennsylvania, but East Ventura), we signed up for Dish satellite for the TV.  Had cable, expensive.  Had Direct TV, another satellite company, too expensive, also.  Dish is cheap-er.  So we started watching Conan on TBS.  Refreshing and good to see him again.  Nic and Trav just love his show so Charlene got tickets for all of us.  I'm taking a vacation day next Wednesday, February 8 and we're all going to a Conan show.  Martin Short is guest.  It'll be fun, taping in Burbank.  Watch for us.  We may get camera time with very tall red-headed twins in the audience of a red-headed host.

In the last couple of weeks, I got us all watching "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon".  Very funny, very fresh, very talented and entertaining guy.  This guy is very talented comically, musically, everything-aly.  Now, I want tickets to that show but it's in New York.  Ug!  I don't do New York.  Hey, I coulda been a contenda as the greatest Jimmy Fallon fan........ but, Noooo!

Try Jimmy Fallon, you'll like it.