Where's the Rhino?

Living in Southern California is so different than Ohio.  Ohio is, in my friend Andy's words, "The land of Rusty Cars".  Lots of precipitation year round, especially in the wintertime.  A bizillion tons of salt on the roads just destroys cars in a few short years.  Southern California is basically a desert using water stolen from surrounding states.  No salt is used anywhere out here so cars last and last.  Driving to LAX airport and back is like driving from Cleveland almost to Cincinnati - vast stretches of highways.  California is huge, like 4 'Ohios' stacked on top of each other.  A few years back, I used to drive from Ventura to Modesto for Copier School.  333 miles door to door, one way.  That's 5 hours driving at the speed limit.  All freeway, all non-stop.  And I didn't even cover half the length of the state.  Cars are so necessary out here.  And they seem to last forever if you take good care of them.  And there are millions of them, old and new.  I've never seen so many old cars from the 30's, 40's, 50's and 60's - all in mint condition and used regularly.  Tons of late 60's Mustangs.  There are also an ungodly amount of expensive and impractical cars on the highways out here. 

I see very expensive 4-wheel drive cars on the highways.  I've never seen anyone take their $50,000+ new vehicle "4-wheeling" through mud runs or up the mountains so why the hell did they waste all that extra money?  Image?  I guess.  Looking at the Sunday paper ads for new and used cars, I came across a 3 year old Range Rover for only $25,000.  Why the hell do freeway drivers buy Land Rovers and Range Rovers?  Starting at $36,000 to $65,000 for a 4-wheel vehicle just to drive on the Freeways?  Stupid Image to me!  I mean, buy a Jag or a Porsche or something.  Land Rovers?  Yea, if I was Marlin Perkins and Jim Fowler in Wild Kingdom, then I would buy a Land Rover. 

You remember those guys, doing the Wild Animal thing in Africa.  Marlin Perkins, safely up a tree or in an animal-proof blind while he sends Jim to get strangled by the 26 foot Python or to fight off the Mama Lion protecting her cubs.  While Marlin was safely filming from a helicopter above, Jim was getting his Land Rover rammed by a charging Rhino.  And Jim always escaped in the Land Rover.  Yea!  That's what those vehicles are for, not driving your date to a concert at the Staple Center.  California car buyers, Get Real!