My Daughter's Blog

I started my blog over 4 years ago because I was bored.  I was off work for a month due to back surgery and thought, hell, I'll do a blog.  So I did.  The first few really sucked, and a lot since kinda suck.  My best, the one I love, took months to write.  I wanted it to be the best I could and I think it still is.  You can see it at:  http://crazykellyofcowlifornia.blogspot.com/2011/05/project-moonwatch.html  .  Most of what I write is silly, sometimes serious.  I was one of the more faithful bloggers, writing and posting regularly.  Others I know had blogs or starting blogging but have dropped off the planet.  I kinda went lax myself.  A friend of mine in Florida kick-started me recently and I wrote about my knee operation.  I like to include photos sometimes, other times, not.  I think of things to write almost everyday but when I get in front of the computer, I blank.  I've tried taking notes beforehand but it just doesn't come out right so I give up.  One of those things where the words got to flow by themselves.

My daughter, Shelley had a blog going and she, too, dropped off the planet.  In the last few days, she's opted for Mission Impossible and writes a blog almost every day.  I can't do that.  She, on the other hand is an excellent writer, very smart, very funny.  I am so proud of her talents (and a little jealous, too).  I would like to share the blogs she has posted in the last few days.  I'm sure you'll agree with me that this lady has talent.  Here's the latest blogs she has written, in order.  Post comments on them if you wish.

The Posts That Never Were ---------------

 http://deliciasez.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-posts-that-never-were.html

First Date--------------------

 http://deliciasez.blogspot.com/2013/11/first-date.html

 Someone To Watch Over You---------------

http://deliciasez.blogspot.com/2013/11/someone-to-watch-over-you.html

Regarding Morning Things-------------------

 http://deliciasez.blogspot.com/2013/11/regarding-morning-things.html

Today, she is sick as a dog but still managed a 'disclaimer' post

Nothing To See Here----------------

 http://deliciasez.blogspot.com/2013/11/nothing-to-see-here.html

And What became of the knee?

September 22, 2013

How's your knee?  I get that a lot in the last few weeks.  Friends and relatives (and work) are texting, e-mailing and calling to find out how my Total Knee Replacement surgery went. Thought I'd give you the full unvarnished story behind my ultra new, porous titanium steel replacement knee.  Porous is the new style that allows bone to grow into it and glue is no longer used.  Lasts a lifetime, or so they say.

Years ago, it was 3rd or 4th grade, I used to jump out of playground swings.  You know, where you pump as high as you can and then 'jump' at the top of the forward arc.  Was a lot of fun until I came down on my right knee locked.  Ouch!  I crawled home 3 blocks from Clinton Elemtary School that day.  Ouch, again.  That was the initial thing that started all this....well, that and 43 years of copier repair.  "Copier Knees" as we in the trade call it. Those 43 years of crawling, bending, kneeling, etc made it worse and eventually very arthritic.  For the last 20 years or so, it's gotten worse, locking up, buckling, swelling, paining.  Last year I had it 'cleaned' out as the surgeon explained.  the following x-ray was taken just before that 'cleaning out the gravel' surgery about 18 months ago.

You can see some of the debris in the joint.  That's the stuff he cleaned out last year. Should have stayed 'clean' for three or more years.  Not! It came back with a vengeance plus more this year.

Sister Pat and Cuz'n Kent were here during the 4th of July week.  Charlene and I took that week off as a vacation and we were all having fun, doing things, playing around.  We went to a restaurant on Tuesday evening and later that evening, in the  middle of the night I got a bad case of shivers.  So bad that my entire body was racked with shivers, slight fever, and a quick case of sick-to-my-stomach.  Took a hot shower to warm up and went back to bed.  Woke up the next morning with terrific pain in my right knee and in my lower back where I had back surgery 3 years earlier.  The knee swelled to about twice normal size and my back pain was almost as bad as it was before that surgery.  Went to Family doctor who gave me some pain pills, ordered blood tests.  Went back to see Family doctor on Monday and he immediately sent me to the ER.  After 10 hours in the ER, I was admitted to the hospital.  I spent 5 days there, had a million tests, got sloshed with bags and bags of antibiotics.  They never did figure out what was wrong or what caused it. Never was any infection. After I ws release from the hospital, I saw Doctor Knee Surgeon.  He said that whatever it was had come and gone, maybe viral but my knee didn't have an infection, just inflammation.  He showed me how my knee joint had gone bad beyond repair.  He had me sit in a chair, pulled up both pant legs and straightened my legs. My left leg was straight, the right one was bent out about 10 degrees from the knee to the foot.  Knee joint beyond repair he said.  He gave my knee a shot of steroids/pain killer and it was much better the next day.  Doctor Knee set up an MRI (had gobs of x-rays from my stay at the hospital. so no more of those needed.  The MRI showed what we both knew-- time for a total knee replacement....bionic man in the making.  I took a few weeks to think about it and my knee just got worse so I opted for the surgery.  

Total Knee Replacement recovery is slow and painful.  Lots of physical therapy stuff that brings tears if you do it right.  Much worse than hip replacement.  There's a small window of opportunity to get the surgery to heal correctly and permanently. If you don't do the therapy correctly and promptly, it heals wrong for the rest of your life.  Yuch!  Everyone I talked to said it was worth the pain and suffering of therapy to walk normal again - something that would take 4-6 months.  Worse yet, I had been walking 'funny' with my leg bent and on my tippy-toes to offset the pain and walking bent over, making my back worse.  Both of which made the recovery worse.  Ahh!  Superman Syndrome.  All us guys suffer from that.

Friday, Surgery Day. 

Charlene and I arrived at the hospital at 5:30 in the morning, filled out the forms and played with the pencils on the Group W bench.  I changed into 'Naked Man' hospital gown and they wheeled me off at 7:30 for surgery.  I really don't remember mcuh of that, uh, actually none of the surgery, thank God.  Charlene had told me how it goes in this operation and the less I knew, the better.  I awoke as I arrived at my room.  It was a single room, no screaming, moaning bed buddy.  Charlene had arranged it all during my surgery.  Great room, great view of the hill side with Two Trees on top.  Beautiful at night, too with all the hill side city lights.  From what all the nurses and doctors said, it was the best room on the floor.  Here's a view out my giant window:

 Three days prior to surgery, I put myself on a clear liquid diet (juice and jello) so I wouldn't need a bed pan for a few days after surgery.  Works great.  Lunch was being served as I arrived in the room and being starved for 3 days, I chowed down.  For the most part, the food is great.  Here's a couple of photos of what they served me:

The evening of the surgery, they had me walk, assisted of course, up to the nursing station and back.  That kind of astounded me.  I mean, they cut my leg in half, fixed it back together, sew it up and have me walking 12 hours later.  One very cool invention that makes this possible in a Femoral Nerve Block gizmo.  It's a balloon filled with pain killer and it's sealed inside a plastic capsule.  It's about the size of a pack of cigarettes.  The thing is a tiny IV that has a tube inserted in my groin, fed down to my knee so the knee is totally numb for a few days.  Makes this operation possible for the patient.  Regular narcotic pain pills don't touch this kind of pain. 

Here's a pic of me in my naked man hospital gown.

The blue and gray wrap thing on my left leg is a massager to keep blood clots from forming in my good leg. Twice a day, the physical torture, uh, physical therapy lady would come and give me exercises to do, walk me around the hospital floor and cheer me on.  They also hooked my operated leg to a mechanical 'exerciser' machine that slowly straightens/bends my leg.  I had control of the amount of 'bend'.  If you are sitting in a chair, leg straight down to the floor, that's a 90 degree bend.  I would be hooked up on this for 2 hours, twice a day, before the PT lady would come. Think I started with a 40 degree bend the first day and eventually worked my way up to a 100 degree bend. I learned to take two pain killers before the machine and therapy.  It was the beginning of the weeks of PT I will endure.

I had brought a couple of Jack Reacher novels to read and Charlene had brought me a couple of joke books to read.  Here's a picture of one of them:

Don't you just love these things - full of so much bullshit that they are actually funny.  

On the 4th day at Club Hospital, I was walking with a walker around the hospital unaided.  On the 5th day, I was released to go home.  The surgeon had arranged for a 'stretching machine" (actually called a CPM) to be delivered to our house for 3 weeks.  Also had home PT set up for 3 days a week for the next 2 weeks.  Oh, joy....

When all this stuff started in July, Charlene got me several walkers from the thrift stores.  The first one is one of those two wheels on the front, rubber balls on the back.  But she customized it with 'skids' on the rear, making it easier to move.  Even got a cup holder.  Here's a picture of "Tennessee", my walker:

She also got me the 4 wheeled kind, complete with hand brakes.  Here's a picture of "Clint" my 4 wheeled walker complete with seat.  Wow!

About the only problem I had after getting home was that I almost killed myself on pain meds.  First day, I'm up early, take my two pain meds and get on the CPM thing.  Within an hour, my blood pressure went disastrously low.    Seems the pain meds in the hospital were a 5 mg. dose and my home stuff was 10 mg.  Ooops!  By afternoon, we had figured it out and I was better then.  I've got an electronic blood pressure gizmo that straps on my wrist and for the next two days, I checked it around the clock.

If you can stand it, here's a pic of my knee after I got home:

 

I went to see Doctor Knee on Thursday and he gave me the following grades:

Healing    A+

Flex (bending) A-

Straight out leg lock B+ (I'm only at 178 degrees instead of 180).

I'm set up for out patient PT 3 times a week and see Doctor Knee in 6 weeks.  I do my CPM three times a day for 2 hours each, followed by my tear dripping PT.  Me and Clint go for slow walks to the Buddist Temple and back as well.  Slow but sure. I mean even the Mummy is faster than me.

Doctor Knee gave me a x-ray of my new knee:

 

There you go, you are up to date on "What became of the knee"

Helpers

It’s Christmas time, a time for presents, fun, family.  Kind of sad that some idiot in Connecticut ruined it temporarily for friends and family of Sandy Hook as well as the rest of the Nation.  We watched CBS Sunday Morning today and there were nice tributes of love and Christmas Spirit shown.  Heck, Charles Osgood even played the piano and sang the “I’ll be home for Christmas” song.  He’s very good at that, something I hadn’t realized in all the years I’ve watched/listened to him.  I came away with a happy/sad feeling after the show.  Then, I stumbled upon a “Mr. Rogers” quote today and pasted it on Facebook.  Advice to parents about what to say to your kids when a “Sandy Hook” happens.  Here’s the quote:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in this world.” — Mister Rogers.

My heart goes out to the family, friends and especially the responders of the tragedy.  Lots of talk of gun control, laws to be passed, things to be done.  For me, I just want to be a helper.  For those of you who have experienced sadness, a loss this year, that first Christmas can be rough.  For my friend, John and others like him, I wish for you the strength to get through what should be a joyous time and let you know if you need to talk, I’ll be your helper……..

             Kelly

Copierguy Benefits

As a Copierguy, I have access to normal offices, buildings and regular places.  I also have access to really cool places like Vandenburg AFB where America's West Coast Missiles are launched (see my blog on this at:   http://crazykellyofcowlifornia.blogspot.com/2010/09/its-not-rocket-scienceno-waitit-is.html ), Port Hueneme Naval Seabee Base and one of my favorites, Point Mugu Naval Weapons Base.  This Blog is about the Point Mugu Base.

Since 9/11, access to all the bases is extremely difficult.  In the beginning, if I had to get on base, the vendor would pre-authorize me and, after a visit to the off-base visitor center for credentials, I had access for a day.  As the years went by, I had to get all sorts of paperwork and jump through hoops for a 6 month pass.  Then, the hammer came down.  My company had to shell out almost $500 to get me a 4 year pass.  So many forms, fingerprint and background check with the FBI, I-9 form from work, license, registration, proof of insurance, etc.  But, now I just drive up, they scan my badge and I'm in.  Except for Vandenburg - it's still a nightmare to get in there (Luckily, I rarely go there as other techs cover that one).  Once I'm on base, I pretty much have to follow the rules I 'swore' to get the badge.  I always have a camera with me and it's very tempting to photograph the 'cool' stuff but I like my job, hate jail and keep the camera in the glovebox.  I am allowed to take pics at some places so I've included them here.

Point Mugu is a Naval Weapons development and test base.  They've come up with some really neat things.  There's always F/A-18's and Hawkeye Radar planes doing neat things there.  I am allowed to say that the places I visit for networking and repair work are private contractors (ditto for Vandenburg and Port Hueneme).  At Point Mugu, the vendors I visit design and build 'targets' for the Navy fliers.  You've all seen the movie "Top Gun" where they try and shoot down each other with 'electronic-only' weapons but Point Mugu is a Live-Fire base. The 'targets' are real, jet powered and remote controlled.  They can be small or very large.  I've walked past them being assembled many times.  That's about all I can say.  As I walk down the halls, there are wall mounted photos of the 'targets' flying and being destroyed.  What they are being destroyed with is what the Naval Weapons base designs (or assists with the design) and tests.  This base has been around for a long time and has come up with all sorts of missiles.  AAMRAN, HARM, SIDEWINDER and the list goes on.  Whenever there is a 'training' exercise, the F-18's are up, live-armed and accompanied by (actually guided by) the airborne radar control Hawkeye aircraft.  Sometimes, the Navy does the 'Top Gun' kind of stuff and they hire a private contractor to be the 'bad guys', just like in the 'Top Gun' movie.  The private contractor hires former Navy/Air Force pilots, bring their own aircraft and the Good Guys and the Bad guys engage in the 'Top Gun' stuff.  Electronic, not live ammo stuff.  Very cool.  I've seen all the aircraft on the ground and taking off/landing at Pt. Mugu.  Guy stuff supreme.  My favorite are the Hawkeye Radar control planes.  They are the forward controllers of any battle in the air-any 'air' ops mission.  Prop driven and a big radar dome on top.  The wings fold up for aircraft carrier storage.  Here's a pic of a retired one on the base.

This particular plane epitomizes the name, "Hawkeye".  Here's another pic from around the side:

I just love the tail painting.  Here's a close up:

As I said, this base develops or assists with the development of missiles.  The various slogans, emblems and squadron names enforce that.  How's this for cool:

 This so reminds me of "Fluffy", Hagrid's dragon from the Harry Potter movies.  Here's some other pics from just off base.  The first is a retired F-18, the last is what I call, Missile Row.  This is just a small portion of the weapons developed, improved or tested here.  Yes, that's a Polaris submarine launched missile on the right.  This place does it all.  A really cool place to visit.......if you got one of those really expensive badges.  Here's the pics:

The last pic is of an older missle, a Regulus II missile.  When I was 12 or 13, I built a plastic model of it.  Yea, lots of glue all over the place, but I loved it.  This pic holds a special place in my heart because of that.

Painmaster 2000

Several people have ask about my knee operation and recovery so I thought I'd share the answers with all of you.

First, daughter Shelley asked, "If you do get a replacement knee, will it make that cool Bionic Man sound when you leap buildings with it??"  After I stopped laughing, I thought about it and really don't have a good medical answer for that.  I do remember the Six Million Dollar Man TV show and if I ever did get a knee replacement, I would love to have that sound when I jump.  The sound I do get now while doing the recumbent bike thing is a minor clunking or clicking deep inside my knee.  It's a really lame sound Hollywood would never be interested in for a remake of the series.  Who knows, maybe Lee Majors' knee sounds like that now as he is seven years older than me.

My firend Anna in Cowlumbus commented,  "Now you are a 'Stationary'...Biker-Bitch!".  I thought that was a little demeaning and unflattering.  I've included some pictures below as I do my daily exercises to prove my point.  By the way, Although it's original name is Schwinn Recumbent Bicycle 1700, I have renamed it the Painmaster 2000.  Hope you enjoy the pics and remember, click on the pics to view the larger size. Sorry about the scar and tattoo.

Copier Knee, Part II

In the past week after my surgery, I've been trying to exercise the way Dr. Music requested.  His number one exercise for my knee is a stationary bike, second, walking.  The day after surgery, Charlene, who is always the greatest Nurse (for the worst patient-me), searched Craig's List and found a wonderful bike for a hundred bucks, mint condition.  We picked it up the next day and I have been doing 2-3 miles a day ever since.  My knee is still somewhat swollen but lessens by the day.  All the muscles on my calf and thigh are very sore - I mean very sore.  Back of my knee (is that the 'nape of my knee'?) is black and blue and I don't know why.  Bending hurts.  Just plain hurts.  I have to force myself to move my right leg correctly when I walk.  The pain just takes over and I walk funny, stiff legged if I don't think about it.  Strange how something like walking can be forgotten so quickly in response to pain.  As the days go by, I can bend it a little more, tolerate a little more pain and constantly force myself to think about how my leg is supposed to work when I walk.  If I give in to the pain, I walk funny, stiff-legged, lean funny and in trying to favor my right leg, screw up my back.  My back?  Yea, you remember in 2009 when I started this blog - it was because I was bored recovering from back surgery.  Yea, that back.  So, my walking is half reflex, half thought-controlled if I don't want a sore knee and back.  When I realize I'm walking with a stiff right leg, I think how my left leg takes a step and apply that motion to my right leg.  Kind of a drag.  I just can't go from here to there without pausing, remember to 'walk' the right leg and slowly get there.  I haven't learned how to do it faster than 'slow' but I keep trying.

Today, 8 days after surgery, I went to see Dr. Music.  His nurse took out my stitches - 4 on one side of my knee, 1 on the other.  Dr. Music came in shortly thereafter, shook my hand and examined my knee.  He made me bend and extend and was pleased with my progress.  I told him that Charlene had gotten a recumbent stationary bike and was doing 2-3 miles a day and he was happy about that.  He had warned me that one of the incisions would be bigger than the other but he kept having to make one bigger as he tried to get the giant boulder out (the huge one in the x-ray, previous blog post).  He kind of laughed and did a replay of the operation with him struggling to get it out of the too small opening.  A funny scene. He told me that the soreness of my thigh and calf is due to the fact that during the operation, they 'pressurize' the joint with water, swelling it up and stretching everything.  It will slowly fade. Then, he got serious.  Uh-oh.....

He told me that my knee was pretty bad and that if I treated it kindly, it would last another 6-10 years before requiring a knee-replacement operation.  Then he ask, "Do you want that operation"? to which I replied, "NO!".  "Do you want to know how to keep your knee?", he ask.  "Well, Yeah", I said.

"Treat it gently.  No jogging.  No jumping.  No sudden impacts to the joint.  Low impact exercise - one hour a day - for the rest of your life. The stationary bike is an excellent low impact exercise and you need to use it every day.  The gentle motion will help 'polish' the bone surfaces and keep them smooth and arthritic buildup to a minimum.""

And with that, he shook my hand and left.  Bummer.  I thought I was superman and this operation would have me up and running around like the hyper-active moron I've been for decades.  But, Noooooo!  I have to slow down and act my age, or should I say 'act my body condition'.  Gross!  Old age just plain Sucks!

Copier Knee

My first day of a 4 week vacation started out kind of weird: I was drugged, beaten, stabbed, sawed and bandaged.

Yea, that about says it all.  I suffer from "Copier Knee".  If you work on copiers long enough, your knees will start screwing up.  After decades of "up and down, crawling around on my knees, sitting on the floor like an Indian (American, not India), the knees just take a beating.

I've had problems with my right knee for almost 20 years now and it slowly gets worse:  Locks up, clicks, sends pain signals everywhere.  Last November, Charlene and I were doing some shopping, walking across a parking lot when, out of the blue, my right knee decided that it was time to let me know that it probably needs looked at by someone other than the Cat.  As the weeks went on, the pain increased to the point of me taking Charlene's advice and scheduling a visit with Dr. Music.  He's an Orthopedic Surgeon and since Charlene sees his patients on her floor, she knew him and his excellent reputation as a knee fixer.  One of my customers also gave him a great recommendation. I made the appointment, got some x-rays and paid him a visit (actually, my insurance company paid him for the visit).

You oldsters remember Marcus Welby, M.D. on TV of yester-year.  Dr. Music is one of those kind of doctors:  Upbeat, caring, energetic, outgoing, great sense of humor, extremely positive.  He's the kind of doctor you all would want.  After the first office visit, I just loved this guy!  I mean, if he accidentally cut off my leg, I would still love him - he's just that great!

During my office visit with him, I had brought a paper from the x-ray people that explained 3 things wrong with my right knee, all in medical-ese that I didn't understand.  He came in, sat down right beside me and took the paper and explained all three items:
1.  You've got a lot of fluid in your joint
2.  You've got a lot of arthritis in you knee
3.  You've got a lot of 'gravel' in your knee joint.

Then he pulled up the digital x-rays and showed me the what, why and whatever was causing me pain.  I've attached the really cool one here that shows a giant rock in the knee joint.  Other x-rays showed more 'gravel' but not as dramatic as this x-ray:

Years of arthritis, bone spurs, calcium deposits growing, breaking off had taken it's toll.  Time to operate.  He said that most surgeons would tell me that I'm due for a knee replacement surgery but, (thank God) he didn't think it was that bad yet.  He pulled out some Arthroscopic surgery tools and showed how the operation would go.  45 minutes to an hour in same-day surgery, home by noon.  He said there would be two small incisions for the tools to be inserted in the joint and do the deed.  He laughed and said one of the slits would have to be bigger than normal to get the big rock out (the one in the x ray above).  If I was an office worker, sitting all day, I could go back to work in a week.  Copierguy?  No way - you're going to be off for a month with the abuse you give your knees.  He also said I should have come see him sooner - like, 15 years sooner.  So, I cleared everything with work and scheduled the surgery for yesterday morning.  Charlene took me there and we arrived a 6 a.m., surgery at 7:30.  Of course, in the free time before they put me under, I played with things and basically annoyed everyone.  Only ask for coffee once, maybe twice.

 

 Dr. Music showed up at 7 a.m. wearing sneakers, blue jeans, polo shirt.  My kind of guy!  The operation went very well and as I was coming out of the anesthesia fog, he handed me a couple of 8 x 10 glossy photo montages of images taken thru his instruments during the operation.  I'd include more but I have no clue what is going on in most of them..... except this one - the one with the little tiny saw:

 Yep, a little tiny saw cutting away all the bad stuff (the suction tool is not shown) in the middle of my knee joint.  Pretty cool geek shot, eh?  I was home by noon, complete with crutches.  Supposed to mostly stay off it for a few days, bandage off on Wednesday, appointment for stitch removal and progress report next Tuesday.  After tomorrow, I start physical therapy which consists of either a stationary bicycle or just plain walking.  Lots of walking.  Major lots of walking.  I can't wait for that......  After I got home yesterday, my entire knee was numb, couldn't feel a thing so I was 'crutching around the house for hours.  Even Charlene told someone on the phone that on a normal day, I'd sit at the computer for hours but today he can't sit still, he's all over the house.  Yea, that about summed it up until the knee became 'un-numb' last evening.  After that, I was on the couch, leg propped up, a took a pain pill (some really good ones, courtesy Dr. Music).  Going to bed late last night was a little tougher than normal as the pain pills just took the 'edge' off the pain but still made me very aware that I wasn't going to fall asleep soon.  After an hour, exhaustion won and I was out until 5 a.m. today.  So much for sleeping in.......

I started out with crutches this morning for a half-an-hour and realized that crutches are mostly dangerous, at least for me so I set them aside and forced myself into careful baby steps, straight-ahead walking with no lateral twisting.  It's working pretty good for now and my pain level is low so I'll probably work with it, increasing speed and stride as the days go by.  For a hyper-active moron, it's maddeningly slow but I'll keep up with it per Dr. Music's orders.

By the way, my surgeon's name is really Dr. Mazurek, not Dr. Music.  I'm a numbers oriented guy and can't remember names worth a damned.  Initially, I could remember 'Music' so that's what I call him.  His name is really pronounced like the State 'Missouri' with a 'K' on the end.  Aw, so much easier to say 'Dr. Music'. 

Now, I'm off to repair the roof, work on the car's transmission, mow the grass.......NOT!

Book signing strikes again!

I usually order books for Charlene through Amazon.com before they are released and receive them a day or two before they are officially released.  Works out well.  Several months ago, I ordered Robert Crais's unreleased new book, "Taken".  About three weeks ago, I noticed that he would be at several signings so I schemed to take Charlene on a mystery date, not telling her a word.  Not even the boys knew.  Last night, after she changed clothes about 50 times in her attempts to anticipate what clothes this mystery date might entail, we left for the freeway.  The entire afternoon, she was guessing where/what it might be, to no avail.  We jumped on the freeway headed towards LA and she starts lessening her guesses as we were headed for unfamiliar territory.  We arrived in Thousand Oaks, about 20 miles away at a little place called "Mysteries to Die For".  Cute little bookstore that sells, you guessed it, mystery books.  As I pulled the keys out of our car, I handed her an unopened package that contained "Taken" for the signing.  She saw the book, saw the crowd in front and knew what it was.  Remember you can click on the photo to see a larger version, then return here.

This was a much smaller place than last years Robert Crais book signing in Santa Monica and there was no room to sit so we were off in a corner at the beginning.  Just before he came out, they ask for "Volunteers" to sit on the floor right beside him.  Yep, our hands went up and Charlene and I sat at his feet.  And funny feet they were:

He explained his own personal methods on how he writes.  You know, the dedication of a set number of regular hours per day, how he outlines a story before he writes it, all the little tricks he uses.  It was very interesting.  He also explained that there is a lead time, like 4-6 months after you hand it to the publisher before it hits the shelves in stores.  That time is used for corrections, publishing, PR work, setting up signing tours across the country, etc.  He wasn't happy with his book while writing it and it took many more months to finish than he planned.  The manuscript was turned in December 1st and was published around January first.  Hilarious to hear how his publisher was constantly 'bugging' him in the end.  Afterwards, he did his "question and answer" period which also was interesting.  Then, the book signing began.  This guy is a very "people-oriented" author, very approachable, very likeable and very accommodating.  These are the rest of the pictures and some were taken without flash during his presentation so they're not perfect:

 

Here's Charlene getting her book signed:

And, in a stroke of genius, Charlene make the excellent choice of Silver Flip-Flops (?) and compared foot ware with Robert Crais.  He liked my 'Cow' socks, too.

Late Night Shows

I noticed in the paper today that "Late Night with David Letterman" first aired on this day in 1982.  Wow!  Never thought of it before.  Didn't Johnny Carson retire after 30 years?  And Dave is still going strong.  I've always liked Letterman.  Not a lot of jokes, just, uh, more intelligent jokes.  Leno's monologue runs for 10-15 minutes of non-stop jokes and it pushes me back - - too many jokes.  As far as any of the Late Night shows, my taste is still evolving.  Always loved Johnny Carson, always will.  After a hard day, he was the King who tucked us in at night.  Sometimes I watched Letterman.  He was new.  Raw and Rookie rolled into one.  Some years back, Charlene, Nic, Trav and I went to a Wayne Brady Show in Hollywood.  He was funny but, not a keeper.  Then I discovered "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson".  This guy was funny.  His monologue is made up on-the -fly.  There's some 'thoughts' on the teleprompter but that's all he needs.  Very entertaining.  Charlene and I went to a 'Christmas' show of his and the sole guest was Regis.  They even sang carols for the audience.  Love Regis - too bad he never did a late night show as I was never home in the mornings to watch his "Live with Regis and (insert name here)" show.  Also used to watch Conan.  I liked his show, sorry he got bumped. 

After we moved East (no, not Ohio or Pennsylvania, but East Ventura), we signed up for Dish satellite for the TV.  Had cable, expensive.  Had Direct TV, another satellite company, too expensive, also.  Dish is cheap-er.  So we started watching Conan on TBS.  Refreshing and good to see him again.  Nic and Trav just love his show so Charlene got tickets for all of us.  I'm taking a vacation day next Wednesday, February 8 and we're all going to a Conan show.  Martin Short is guest.  It'll be fun, taping in Burbank.  Watch for us.  We may get camera time with very tall red-headed twins in the audience of a red-headed host.

In the last couple of weeks, I got us all watching "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon".  Very funny, very fresh, very talented and entertaining guy.  This guy is very talented comically, musically, everything-aly.  Now, I want tickets to that show but it's in New York.  Ug!  I don't do New York.  Hey, I coulda been a contenda as the greatest Jimmy Fallon fan........ but, Noooo!

Try Jimmy Fallon, you'll like it. 

Our New home

Part I - Impetus 

Over a year ago, Charlene was in her final quarter of RN college and was feeling so beaten and worn down that she told me, "Maybe I should drop out this quarter, get my mental strength back and start again in January".  It was a tough final quarter but I knew she could make it.  I reminded her that she was Above Ground  and there were 33 men trapped almost a half-a-mile underground in Chile and they would be there for months without the possibility of seeing the Sun until at least December.  That sort of gave her the strength to go on.  Then, the men were rescued much earlier in mid October.  That was great!  We all cheered and cried happy tears as they came to the surface one by one.  But, I lost my leverage to help her keep going.  So I switched to, "When you finish school, we'll be able to buy a house".  OK, that one took off and she struggled forward, finished college, passed her State Boards and was hired immediately as an RN.  Months later, she brought up the fact that she wanted to get our own house.  In August, I signed us up for a home buying/financing class given by a local Mortgage company.  Very informative and interesting.  At the end of the class, they offered to pre-approve us for a mortgage so Charlene filled out the forms while I was playing with the pencils on the Group W bench.  OMG! We found out that we have excellent credit scores and were approved for over 400 grand to buy a place.  Wow!  They even referred us to a real estate agent who works closely with them.  Even though I do copier and networking stuff for some of the largest real estate companies in the county and personally know most of the agents, we decided to go with "their guy".

Part II - The Quest

It's been decades since either of us has shopped for or purchased a home.  It was an easier time in those days, less scrutiny, much less paperwork and easier to find a place.  Boy, times have changed!  We had great help and direction from the mortgage lender and especially our real estate agent.  Communications seemed nearly instantaneous via text messaging and e-mail.  Much easier and faster than phone messages.  After the great sub-prime meltdown, money for mortgages became harder to get as lending institutions restricted lending, increased requirements and requested mountains of paperwork.  I do mean Mountains!  Down payment requirements went way up, 10% to 20% needed.  If we wanted to buy a house for 50 grand or less, cool, we could do that, but this is Cowlifornia and 3 bedroom houses start at 200 grand (the junky ones) and up.  Uh, that would take some years to save that much but our lender set us up on the California First Time Home Buyers program.  Way cool!  Extremely low down payment, extremely low interest rate and the State kicks in a bunch for our down payment (of course, we have to pay it all back but the down payment just 'rides along' for 30 years at an even cheaper interest rate).

We gave our requirements to the agent and within hours started receiving potential listings.  We'd read the listings, look at them from space with Google Earth and do the math to figure out what our house payments would be. California homes in the area we wanted seem too damned expensive.  We fell back, regrouped and decided to go with Condo shopping for a less expensive alternative.  With that in mind, Charlene wished for a pool and hot tube/Jacuzzi while I wished for a lower monthly payment.

The first place we put a bid in was just a little further from the High School and College that Nic and Trav attend but it was good.  Nice pool and hot tube just steps away.  Gated complex but only 2 bedrooms.  Luckily, the seller was a real dick and we dropped our offer.

The next place we saw was nice and close to the schools, 3 bedrooms, pool and hot tub just steps away.  We liked it a lot.  It was in the process of being updated with all new carpet, appliances and the like.  We put in an offer and even got to pick out the carpet.  but then, the FHA appraisal came in too low and there was no way we could make up the 20 grand difference, so that was a bust.  It was very discouraging. 

The next condo we saw was also close, pool and hot tub, 3 bedrooms.  We saw it in the afternoon and tried to put in an offer only to find that there were 2 offers ahead of us by just hours.  Ahhhhh!  In Southern Cowlifornia, places for sale are as follows:  1)  60% of the offerings are short sales that can tie up your down payment for months just to be turned down by the owning mortgage holder. While you are waiting for them to make up their mind, you could find the dream house but your down payment money is tied up.   2)  20% are sold at auction on the courthouse steps leaving, C.O.D. there and then which leaves 3)  20% of the rest at regular sale transactions.  Bummer.  We even talked to our agent and mortgage broker about mobile homes which we really didn't want and they told us of all the restrictions and 20% down payment.  Another bummer.  Just when we were about to commit home buying suicide, we got the following e-mail from our agent:
   
"Hi Charlene and Kelly,

      Not sure if this one might be too far on the East side of Ventura for you."

I "Google Earth"-ed it and we saw it the next day.  Yea, further away from the college but Man-o-man was the price lower than the other places and it was huge!  1700+ square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms (Wow!  No waiting  for the bathroom like the last 11 years!).  Tennis court, pool and hot tub, yea!  Charlene and I had a discussion about the distance, realizing that this was worth it so we put in a bid.  Our agent put a lower bid than they were asking and they countered with a price slightly higher - we took it and they accepted it.

Now begins the process all over again.  Untold mountains of forms, income tax records, paystubs, etc.  Just when things looked great, Mason, our mortgage broker told us we were just over the income limit for the first time buyer program.  Crap!  But, he said, he could run it through just in Charlene's name and income.  5 years of struggling through college paid off, above ground!  So we went with it that way, it was accepted and we got it.  We got the keys 6 weeks after we first saw the place.  Throughout the entire quest, the copier that Charlene never wanted in the living room became vital to the paperwork flow.  The broker would ask for some document, we'd scan it on the copier and send it on via e-mail.  Hundreds of forms throughout the quest.  Quick and instant.  She likes the copier now and can copy, print and scan with the best of 'em.  She especially likes the automatic double side copy/print feature.  This all led to the next step......

Part III - The Move

We got the keys on Friday afternoon, November 19.  I picked up a big U-Haul truck at 5 P.M., got Trav and headed to Camarillo to buy some new double beds.  For years, they slept in the same room and used the other bedroom as their Game/Computer room but now, they wanted their own room - no more bunk beds.  We dropped the new beds off at the new place and headed home.  For the next two days, the three of us loaded and delivered all the big, heavy stuff.  I leaned to love the big appliance dolly with the strap on it. When Charlene wasn't helping load boxes, she was busy painting our most excellent Cinnabar Wall back to it's original Early Apartment White color and cleaning the old place.  We had a good Saturday moving day but Sunday it rained all day right up until we took the truck back (that's when the sun came out, naturally).  There was still big items in the old house but we were going to donate them, give them away or have them hauled to the dump.


I had taken 2 weeks vacation to do this move and Charlene had scheduled 'vacation' time, too so throughout the follow week, we each made a million trips hauling the small stuff by car.  I'll tell you, when you get old, you bruise easily and by Wednesday, I looked like a 10 day old banana.  I rented another truck for the following weekend to haul any leftovers and all our outdoor plants (about a bizillion of them).  We decided to have everything hauled away on Saturday and there was a giant mound of old, worn out furniture, tons of crap from the garage so I called the first place I could find in local little free newspaper.  He came out, gave us an estimate and hauled the stuff out the next day.  Did a wonderful job with his beat-up old truck and helpers, swept the garage and driveway and used a leaf blower to make it perfect.  I gave him a big tip.  We had filled all the nail holes in the walls, had the carpets cleaned and Charlene hired one of those Merry Maid time crews to make the place perfect before we left.  We had heard from the neighbors that previous renters never got their deposit back but we got most of ours.  Very cool, indeed.

Pictures?  You want pictures?  You're as demanding as our spoiled cat!  (She loves the new place).  O.K., here's some pictures:

Our agent supreme, Bill Marshall, gives Charlene the keys to our new condo.

Goodbye, Cinnabar Wall.....

I've never seen the garage so clean!

The porch looks so naked....... no plants, no furniture.

I was emptying the closet and discovered Charlene had more purses and shoes than Imelda Marcos.....










Now, on to the new place

I took this pic while I was aboard the space station.  I've circled our condo in blue.

                                Here's our floor plan.  The place is extreme long as you can see.  Huge family room with fireplace, nice open view kitchen that overlooks the family room, nice bar off the kitchen for informal eating and a formal dining room.  The copier, my computer and the kids computer reside there.  Attached 2 car garage makes this a really long place.

Here's a corner of our family room.  9' sliding glass doors, fireplace, 15' cathedral ceiling.  The place has shag carpeting I haven't seen since the 60's.  It also has old people wallpaper that will eventually come down. 

Here's the other end of the family room with the kitchen.  No, I haven't gained weight, that's our agent showing us the place.  Hmmm, you're only seeing most of the ceiling height so it could be taller than 15'....... That beam is in the middle of the cathedral ceiling.

Here's a small portion of the back patio.  That's our master bedroom with it's own 9' sliding glass door.  The patio is huge and I just couldn't get it all in.  To my right is the family room and it's 9' sliding glass door.

OK, OK here's most of the rest of the back patio

Here's the view of the front patio and garage side door from Nic's room.  Hideous old people wall paper.  Eww!

This was taken from the master bedroom.  Charlene is checkin' out the 12 foot closet.  Not a walk-in but 2 -  6 foot mirrored sliding glass doors.  (editors note:  I get a corner of the closet....).

here's the kitchen with it's old people wallpaper.  Lots of storage and a big pantry door with shelves in the door and such just out of sight to the left.

This is a newer stained glass window next to the front door.  To the right is the formal living room.

here's a pic I took after we moved in.  Reading the paper at sunset time.  Hey, leaves changing color - we have seasons in California.

They purposely built this with weird geometry shapes.  That tall peak in the center is nothing but attic.  The family room rises (not in pic) to my right with it's own slope.

Here's our front patio.  Nic's room to the right, garage to the left and the formal dining room behind the 9' sliding window in the center (sort of).

Here's a pic from across the court.  Got most of the house (er, condo).

Here my young, beautiful princess taking a needed break on the front patio jungle.

This is looking east on Darling road in front of our place.  The red-ish building a block away is the Buddhist Temple.  When we finally get most of the moving stuff put away, we're going to invite them to bless our sweet little condo.  If you keep going past the temple for another 1/4 mile to get to the freeway, the follow picture is the view.

The end of our street at Wells road.  This is a view of the 'Santa Paula Ridge' mountains.  The sheer granite face in the center is called Topa Topa, sometimes covered in snow (6300 feet above sea level).  Lots of ag farm fields out here.  We're about 6 or 7 miles east of where we used to live so it's somewhat remote and quiet.

Then, there's the play area for us.  This is the pool and hot tub entrance.  The tennis court is to the left, out of the picture.  Nic and Trav and their friends play tennis a lot.  Charlene and I do the hot tub 5 or 6 times a week.

The beautiful young princess enters the hot, bubbling water.  No chlorine in this, instead they use some kind of Bromine and it's so much easier on the eyes and blonde hair.

In the hot tub, through a foggy lens.

The hot tub is much better on a cool night.

Come back from the hot tub in the evening to a lovely fire.  As an early Christmas present, I got us all a Gas Firelog Set.  OMG!  We all love it to death!  No mess, instant, big or small flames, glowing embers and all.  To quote Bill and Ted, "Totally Excellent!"

There, had enough pictures?  I close now wishing you all a Very Merry Christmas and an even better 2012.